Do your children live in a single parent family, or in a broken home? Do you realize that you have a family, even though there may be only one parent? Sitting at Second Baptist Church on a Saturday night, I realized that my daughter is not living in a broken home, as she is always loved no matter what, even though I am a single parent.While single parenting is not my java flavor of choice, early on I used to lie in bed staring at the ceiling with my daughter next to me and wonder if my daughter and I will survive the mess we were in.
How will I make it through so that my daughter doesn’t suffer emotionally? At the beginning of my single parenting journey my daughter, Sydney, lived in a very broken home with a very broken parent (me.). I was so broken, that my daughter didn’t have a mom in their home; rather, she had a devastated and overwrought adult living with them.
Somewhere along the way the Lord took hold of me and brought me to my senses. Thankfully it was in time to step back and see what was happening. My daughter did not grow up living in a broken home. My daughter lives in a single parent family. Being parents in our challenging society is not an easy task even for two parent families. However, the being a single parent is even more difficult.
Parenting children today is a huge challenge for everyone involved. Never has there been so much stress on the family. Never have so many children spent so much of their lives in day care. Never have there been so many potential negative influences that seem beyond parental control. What is the world coming to?Sitting in church one evening, Pastor Ed Young of Second Baptist Church was talking about parenting, and single parenting and the ways a person can conquer those painful obstacles of raising children in our crazy world. He said, “It is still possible to raise your children without the negative effects associated with being brought up in a single parent home. Children are resilient, and they bounce back”.To this day, I still remember the first time I went to that Church and realized that I wasn’t alone anymore. My peers often ask me how I survived all the events that occurred in my life and most often I shrug with a confused look and because personally I don’t know. My life has been a living hell for the three years, due to a nasty custody case, and still I haven’t completely fallen apart. I am strong in that sense, as I experienced trauma with my family coming to America in the early 80s.
I think about it today, and realized last year, when I finally let go, the Lord came into my life and blessed me with opportunities I did not think existed in my mental state. I opened my heart to learn new skills and lessons. I acquired benefits and opportunities that I never thought was possible for my daughter and me.
So my personal message here to anyone going through a traumatic separation or a life changing experience, is to open your heart to the Lord (or the High Power) and accept things as they are. Leave room in your heart for love, friendship, and opportunities. When you let go, it will come.
